默默吞忍四百年的苦果在十二月某天被吐出來
一種接近瘋狂的笑意令咀巴疲倦卻擠不出笑聲
無言
一道自以為吐氣揚眉的苦澀很和諧的纏繞著某些人
謊言說上一百次即為真相
(澳門 就是與別不同)
同一句說話為什麼要說上一百次
真相重複一千次即比真實更加添一點點
就那麼一點點虛妄
(澳門 就是與別不同)
同一句口號為什麼要複述一千遍
我無言
不便言說
曾經疼痛而今只能回味那傷痕的一種侵犯在無知的狀態下洶湧而來
所以霸權不是罪孽慾望捲起後殖民的高潮快感或麻木沉思於昔年那場劫難但美
其名為文化交流且不知可有同流合污或者合拍的黑暗交易見證一段存在於小城或虛無的故事
故事裡的南北佳麗在聖堂和廟宇的庇蔭下躺在桑拿浴室的冰火五重天一嚐
資本主義最腐敗的風光旖旎回味再回味的一位旅客也許在促進中小企業的經濟增長
後肚滿腸肥一頭裁進樸克和骰子築成的繁榮標誌忘乎所以一探世界文化遺產的虛實
順勢再探洋妞與泰妹
在暗夜裡那機械化的深度演繹國際化城市赤裸裸的深層意義
(澳門 就是與別不同)
我該如何言說
也許
千億元計的投資為的是塑造我們堅定不移的笑臉迎著不倫摩洛哥不類拉斯維加斯的
精神
分裂為一座座光輝奪目的娛樂場和供人娛樂的靈魂就在踏著龍頭的聖母和踏浪而來的媽祖之間
呼喚著大小通吃的希冀支撐著我們的厚顏不無羞恥地恭迎各方來賓仍念念不忘
笑
文化有人看得見有人覺得是生意有人感覺到心裡有一條刺讓那些高雅的文物修復
我們的信心雖然假得不能再假說到底默默吞忍了四百年的苦果吐出來也夠辛苦了
我無言我沉默我沒有表態
我笑
然而並不快樂
(澳門 就是與別不同)
(澳門 就是與別不同)
後記：澳門成功列入世界文化遺產之後，電視廣告不停播出以“澳門就是與別不同”為口號的宣傳片，成為我某個時期夢魘的旁白。 2005年8月13日清晨
08年後記:今日奉笑姐命找自己的舊散文,無意間看到三年前寫的此詩,我發現我沒有走出當時的心情,除了悲觀,不知可以做什麼.
the silent Macao
回覆刪除bitter fruit silently swallowed for four hundred years
spat out on a day in December
crazed laughter exhausts the mouth
can’t squeeze out more
proud satisfaction after the bitterness
naturally wound around
a lie that's been spoken a hundred times - truth
(a world of difference, the difference is Macau)
why does the same phrase have to be repeated a hundred times?
a truth repeated a thousand times adds a bit more than the truth
just that little bit of absurdity
(a world of difference, the difference is Macau)
why does the same slogan have to be repeated a thousand times?
I’m silent
don't know what to say
once hurt now I can only think of the scar, an ignorant violation
hegemony is not the creature of sin or desire swept along by the
postcolonial
insensitively thinking of the past calamity
but saying that it’s for cultural exchange not knowing if there is such a
thing
wallowing in the mire with somebody or a dark exchange witnessing a story
that happened or not in the city
in the story, beauties from the south and north blessed by churches and
temples enjoying the sex toys in the sauna tasting capitalism most rotting
charm and gentle and after tasting a tourist perhaps promoting the economy
of small-medium enterprises then with the fat guts burrowing into
prosperity constructed by cards and dice and then visiting actual world
heritage and then western and Thai chicks
in the dark, the depth of mechanization deducing the in-depth naked meaning
of international cities
(a world of difference, the difference is Macau)
that’s what I should say
perhaps
billions invested mold our firm smiling face
receiving the neither flesh nor fowl spirit of Morocco or Las Vegas
splitting up into shining casinos for entertaining spirits in between
dragon-riding Holy Mary and A Ma on waves
shouting at ‘win them all’ supporting our welcoming visitors from
everywhere and not forgetting to smile
culture somebody sees it thinks that it’s a business someone feels a thorn
in the heart letting the graceful heritage be restored
our confidence is fake but we have swallowed something bitter that was not
easy
I’m speechless I’m silent I don’t have a standpoint
I laugh
but I’m not happy
(a world of difference, the difference is Macau)
(a world of difference, the difference is Macau)
ps. After Macao's successful inclusion on the world heritage listing, the
TV advertisements continuously repeated the slogan, ‘a world of difference,
the difference is Macau’. It became the voiceover of my nightmare at that
time.
– translated by Agnes Vong and Christopher Kelen
謝謝費心翻譯.是不是有出版呢?
回覆刪除